Skrulls, Skrulls everywhere! It's Skrull Wednesday and we get lots of Skrull-like behaviour within and without the Secret Invasion book. Over in Countdown, Darkseid is chilling in his little skirt while sitting on Mary's couch. Very dignified for the Lord of Apokalips. Skrull? You decide. Over in Young X-Men, Cyclops again seems like a Skrull of the highest order and in Kick-Ass, young Dave has the recovery of a lifetime. Like sands through the hour glass, these are the days of your Skrulls. Hit the jump for all the reviews.
COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS #4Story by Paul Dini
Story consulting by Keith Giffen
Script by Adam Beechen
Art by Carlos Magno and Rodney Ramos
The previous Earth was Earth-51, the very same Earth Monarch and Superman Prime destroyed, along with most of that universe, when Monarch exploded. Think about that for a minute. This universe engulfing explosion from Monarch didn't destroy the planet and everything was back to normal so Atom could be responsible for destroying the exact same planet all over again with the Great Disaster.
In a book where Piper destroyed Apokalips and it was fine the next issue just a few weeks back, this doesn't even bother me that much anymore and that's pretty sad.
What happens in this issue? Grant Morrison wanted Mary Marvel evil for Final Crisis. Countdown's story was the fall and redemption of Mary and the story was supposed to be finally over. I'm guessing this was rewritten to tie into FC because this is worse than the original fall of Mary and I didn't think it could get any worse than that.
Seems Darkseid has been chilling, drinking some Bud back in Mary's apartment and just lounging about on her couch, yes, physically sitting casually on her couch, while he waits for her to return. Staying seated, he begins monologuing and tempting Mary, who, with what I guess is supposed to be a tear for a dramatic effect, accepts the ludicrous offer for more power because, well, she likes having more power. Awesome.
From here, Jason Todd proves he's an even bigger dick than we could have known and tells everyone to screw themselves and leaves. He later joins up with Holly and Harley, whom he was seen fighting with and being a general asshole to a couple issues back, and returns to Gotham. Right, I'm sure they'd be happy to have him along...
Finally, the remaining group takes Jimmy to the JLA, where they are no sooner attacked by Black Mary or whatever horrible name she's going to use. They fight and in the chaos, Mary grabs Jimmy and flies off. No build up or resolution or even explanation for any of this nonsense.
Verdict - Avoid It. Countdown had almost wiped the stench of the first half off, but decided to throw away any goodwill it had built up and provide us with this drek for the final month. Bravo.
KICK-ASS #2Written by Mark Millar
Art by John Romita Jr
I want to like this issue, I really do, but, unlike issue one, there was no story here. It actually felt like a bunch of random, disjoint scenes strung together to form a book. We go from Dave in hospital to a couple recovery pages and then he's fighting a couple gangbangers and the issue ends.
On top of that, Millar has soured the whole "real world" feel this had going with how he resolved the whole "beat half to death, run over by a car and left for dead with a broken back and multiple fractions lying in a pool of his own blood" cliffhanger from last issue. Oh, did I mention he stripped himself naked and hid his costume behind a car while having this broken back so he wouldn't be caught dressed up like a super hero? Ya, that don't fly with me either. Finally, Dave just magically gets better. He goes through a few operations, spends a couple months, six to be precise, in rehab and he's good as new. Science must be wonderful in this make believe world.
Millar toned down the swearing a bit this issue, but it still feels like a 5 year old found out about a naughty word and is just shouting it as often as possible because he's not supposed to. I'm not against swearing in comics, but to have it for the sake of having it doesn't make a story better.
The lone shining moment in this book, if you can ignore the miraculous recovery time or the recovery at all, is the last sequence where Dave puts the costume back on and goes back out on patrol. I still find it impossible to see this kid walking after what happened, let alone being physically able to go prancing around and fighting people, but I did enjoy the girls accusing him of being a pervert in his get up coming out of an alley and the final fight with the gang members. To be honest, the guy being chased looked just as bad as the three men chasing him, but the fight was quite the battle royale that just barely goes in Dave's favour.
This begs the question what exactly those two wacking sticks Dave has are made of. If they're asps or just regular metal pipes, they should be more than enough to take someone down with one hit, yet everyone keeps getting up and it's like he's hitting them with tissue paper sometimes.
Verdict - Check It. The first issue was amazing, but this follow up felt a little weak in comparison. It's still a good book and worth picking up, as I still enjoyed it, but no one could fault you for skipping this either.
SECRET INVASION #1Written by Brian Michael Bendis
Art by Leinil Francis Yu
Let's get the art aspect of this out of the way first. This is probably the best work of Yu's career. That said, it's still terrible "event art" and, while I enjoy his work on New Avengers, he does not excel with large groups of heroes or character moments. Many scenes just look down right odd. It's not deal breaking art, but this isn't something I'll go out of my way for an oversized hardcover later on.
So, how about those Cylons? Oh, we aren't watching Battlestar Galactica? Damn, sure did feel like it. First, we've got the amped up religious zealotry from the Skrulls, who constantly spouts the new meme, "He loves you.". Doesn't sound anything like the new overly religious Cylons. Then there's the pretty blonde infiltrator responsible for a huge explosion in the heart of a metropolis city. No, not the first episode of BSG with the blonde disabling the defenses and setting off the nukes. I'm talking about "Sue Storm" infiltrating the Baxter Building and creating some sort of singularity or black hole with the Negative Zone portal. They also did the whole alien virus shutting down all the major defenses. Did I even bother mentioning the whole sleeper Skrulls and "who do you trust" theme? No? Ya, I know BSG didn't event that, but goddamn is there a lot of similarities in this opening.
Looking past all that, this wasn't a bad opening issue. It didn't wow me or anything, but it did get the blood pumping a little. There were some problems, and I'll get into them, but as far as event openings go, this got the job done. It moved key players around the board, set up the major problem and ended by casting doubt on everyone, a standard with shapeshifter type stories.
One thing I didn't like was how Bendis got everyone to the Savage Land post-Skrull ship landing there. The New Avengers just call up Cloak, sans
From here, the NA team heads to the Savage Land, leaving Tony Stark cursing up a storm at Avengers Tower when he finds out the ship was stolen. Unlike Kick-Ass, this just didn't have any place in the book and having Tony shouting, "Where the fuck is my plane?", or any Marvel hero, just takes me out of the story.
In the Savage Land, the NA team gets attacked by dinosaurs. Did we really need this? Dinosaurs are several hundred tonnes and the size of small buildings. How is it that every time anyone goes down to the Savage Land, their transport gets attacked by dinos and they have to crash land? And the scene it set up was completely pointless. It shows the place the NA team was held, all destroyed now, in the first NA story arc. Don't pad the pages with useless things.
Finally, everyone shows up, both the NA and MA, at the downed Skrull ship. Before we can open it, the Skrulls begin their invasion by planting viruses in every major organizations computers, disabling SHIELD, SWORD, and even Iron Man's armour, which causes him to go into seizures. Speaking of which, does the Helicarrier need to be destroyed every week? Just build a ground base if it's going to fall out of the sky every other issue. Skrull Dum Dum Dugan was aboard SWORD at this time and destroyed the facility as Skrull ships flew past the debris. As I said earlier, a Skrull, disguised as a tourist, enters the Baxter Building, shapeshifts into Sue and opens a Negative Zone rift that destroys the building in a ball of energy with Johnny and Franklin inside. The final betrayal comes in the form of Hank Pym, who is helping Reed figure out why the Skrulls are undetectable. Just as Reed figures it out, Hank points a gun in his face and fires, smearing the rubber man across the room.
Finally, the issue ends with the Skrull ship opening to reveal just about every major Marvel character that has died, had a personality change or hasn't been seen in a while. We've got Jessica Jones in costume, Sweet Christmas-ing Luke Cage, Captain America, shield and all (just examine the shield, not real shield = Skrull, Bucky has real shield, therefore he's a Skrull. Not hard. Hell, Cap didn't revert to a Skrull when he died. Case closed.), Jean Grey, normal blue fur Beast and so on.
Verdict - Check It. I want to like this issue and I do, for the most part, but it feels like a cheap B movie at the most. Pretty much anything I say at this point will just sound like nitpicking, and it probably is, but still don't feel this is a worthy "event" book. However, this would be a great New Avengers issue and I think it shows that this was conceived as a NA storyline first and bloated to event status second.
THE WALKING DEAD #48Written by Robert Kirkman
Art by Charlie Adlard
I don't know if I should praise or hate Kirkman at this point. This storyline has been amazing and it's pretty much hitting every high point possible. However, the man is killing every single character I love and have been following for the past couple years. No one is safe, indeed.
The book started with the only real blemish I could think of. Remember all that speculation on who was holding the shotgun to Lori and the baby's head last issue? Ya, that was just a cop out where one of the other prisoner's were going to act like they were keeping her hostage and hope the attackers would take her and the children in and let them live. I'm willing to let this one slide, as Kirkman rarely ever has any cop outs like this and, hey, they all die in the end anyways, right?
As I said, everyone dies, but the devil is in the details. The Governor has his followers out for blood here and they begin picking off the fleeing prison population. I won't go into every death, but there are a couple that deserve mentioning.
First up is Hershel and his son. After a few people get shot, they try to make a run for it. Hershel has his son's hand and is leading them to the escape route when his son takes a bullet in the head. Hershel keeps running, dragging the falling son before he turns and realizes what's happened. He simply falls to his knees and starts crying, everything he has left finally taken from him. The Governor chews out the men for not killing Hershel. They just assumed he'd be a prisoner since he gave up and wasn't even trying to get away. Hershel begs the Governor to kill him, to which he is more than happy to oblige. For such a minor character that I didn't even like or expect to last this long when we first met him, I can't believe how much his death affected me. Really well done on Kirkman's part.
The other deaths I want to talk about is Lori and Rick's newborn child. Yes, even the child. As Rick and his family make their getaway, the Governor isn't having any of that and forces one of the females in his group to fire. The bullet tears through the mid section of Lori and straight through the baby, killing both in a pretty damn graphic splashpage. Kill the wife? Ya, I expected something like that. But her and the baby at the same time? Damn, your cold Kirkman.
However, there is justice. The woman that the Governor forced to fire is sick to her stomach and can't believe what she's done at this point and takes this out on the governor, who she kicks into the oncoming zombies and blows his brains out, finally putting an end to him.
The issue closes with the Woodsbury army nearly out of bullets and fleeing the zombies, who are pouring into the prison. Rick and his son, who appear to be the only survivors at this point, flee through the pack of zombies and make it to the hills. The preview cover for the next issue shows Rick in shadow being lead by the hand by his son. Rick has the posture and staggering pose of a zombie, making me believe he got bit on the escape or maybe sometime during the next issue.
Verdict - Must Read. I loved this issue. It was a fitting end to this story arc and I half expected Kirkman to do a full on purge or possible time skip after this. However, there are the lingering doubts on the viability of the book post-purge. Will new characters be as interesting? Did he just throw the baby out with the bathwater? I have faith I'll still enjoy the book, but it'll be a completely different book after this anyway you look at it.
YOUNG X-MEN #1Written by Marc Guggenheim
Art by Yanick Paquette
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Ignoring the fact New X-Men would be a tough act to follow, this was complete horseshit. The new Brotherhood? Ya, they're most of the old X-Force team. Cannonball, Dani, Magma and Sunspot so far. Real evil team. I can see why Cyclops put the hit out on them.
Oh ya, it looks like Cyclops in this book is a Skrull or imposter of some kind. I know I say that a lot lately, but this time, it's got to be true. He recruits the team in the ruins of the mansion and sends them to take out the Brotherhood. He's supposed to be in San Fran with the rest of the X-Men and setting up a new team of killers, just like he did with X-Force, doesn't seem to jive with any other book, especially with the target.
My guess is the "ONE OF THEM DIES" is going to be "Cyclops" and the Brotherhood takes over as mentors for the Young X-Men.
As for the new members, painful, painful, painful dialogue is the only way to describe them. Why do these characters exist in the first place? They left out almost the entire New X-Men cast to create some Mary Sue tattoo fetish and yet another Wolverine template. On top of that, they butchered Dust and turned her into some casual killer over in Afghanistan. With Santo, it just felt like he was trying to be funny instead of actually being funny.
Verdict - Avoid It. Stuff like this shouldn't even reach the page and reminds me of Chuck Austen or other painful repressed memories. Isn't there a TV show we can get Guggenheim back to writing instead of comics?
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13 comments:
Great reviews, Kirk. I actually found myself really liking Secret Invasion, it had a lot of action-intensive moments, and the occupants of the crashed Skrull ship ought to shake things up a bit (even if I'm basically certain that they're ALL Skrulls).
You hit the nail on the head with Young X-Men, it was just bad. That's not to say that it was completely awful. While Dust's murderous streak wasn't cool or canon in the least, the idea of her running around Afghanistan kicking some Taliban ass was pretty cool, just executed in a so-so fashion. And Ink is the worst character ever, bar none. Seriously, Surge, Hellion, Anole and Armor got cut from the cast for this idiot? Here's hoping that someone sensible takes over the title, or New X-Men gets relaunched in some fashion.
I liked Secret Invasion a lot more than you did mostly because I have been waiting for it since it was announced. I don't watch BSG so I don't have that problem. While agree that Leinil Yu isn't the best artist for an event, I do think he create a good mood and tone. My main problem with the issue was that it was too much like an Annihilation Prologue instead of the first issue of an event.
I was interested in the New X-Men replacement series until it was announced that Marc Guggenheim was writing. I got it since it was a slow week, but I won't get the second issue. The dialogue wasn't that good and the premise is weak as well.
did you catch the bendis interview on g4? he stated "i don't retcon" emphatically, but isn't the entire premise of Secret Invasion retconning his own (and others) stories by placing skrulls into already established history? nice one, bendis.
I still have high hopes for Final Crisis, but finding out Morrison's behind this nonsensical "Mary, Evil Cheerleader" story dampens my excitement a bit. It was a stupid and poorly plotted story the first time, and this rapid change of heart to being good and then bad again is even worse.
"Isn't there a TV show we can get Guggenheim back to writing instead of comics?"
HA! I had the exact same thought about this pile of shit in the shape of an X. I hope this book tanks so fast that it all turns out to be a dream or something, everything he's doing is going to have to be fixed.
One Eye putting the hit out on the New Mutants instead of say, having a telepath contact them and see what's up? That's gonna need a fix.
Ink? Less said about this abortion of a character the better.
Dust? Does someone at Marvel personally hate me and is actively fucking around around with all the X-Kids I know and love?
I want my New X-Men back, I want Laura and Hellion to have awkward moments together. I want Cessily, Larua and Sooraya to become closer. Yost and Kyle can't be THAT busy. FUCKING HUDLIN STILL HAS A BOOK, AND YOU CANCEL NEW?! FUCKERS...
sorry, let my rage get the best of me.
FUCKERS.
1) I don't know why everyone's always going on about Yu's art, I really love it.
2) I keep wondering whether that whole 'He Loves You' will be important later on. Like, maybe it's referring to the Skrull King from Illuminati #1 that started all this?
3) Guess you might be right about Cyclops. Check out this secret unannounced variant that's been going around:
http://www.mycomicshop.com/res/images_products/import_from_office/largepics/BAMHX001C.JPG
Bendis said there was a religious component to the invasion so I assume it is the Skrull God(s) that Herc will beating.
Since you were so upset about Cloak being used just as a teleporting device:
Bendis said this about Cloak (you can see the whole thing over in http://www.wizarduniverse.com/040308si1commentary.html)
"BENDIS: Listen, you need a quick drop off and there are a couple of people you’re going to call. And Nightcrawler always seems to be whining, “I can only take two people at once!” No, they have a history together, and it’s a tiny little nod to House of M. But I do promise in the future to use Cloak as more than just a Taxi service. I do like those characters an awful lot. You go through the Rolodex and think, “Who can get me there and get me there fast? I got two minutes.” I do like that when he finds out where they are, he’s like, “Alright. Bye.” [Laughs] I was going to keep him in the scene, but I wanted to go, “Yeah, I don’t want to do this.” "
There’s a fairly obvious and, one would think, fatal flaw in the SI storyline. To wit, anyone interested in detecting Skrull impersonators could do so by taking any sort of tissue (hair, fingernails, skin, blood, etc.) sample from a suspect. As soon as the cells in the Skrull’s tissue fragment died, the tissue would become Skrullian, and would do so quickly.
SRS
Dude, you're definitely nitpicking.
I think this is the most "logical" invasion scenario -- Earth's weaknesses are an over-reliance on Stark technology, concentration of badguys and pissed off good guys in prisons, and too few people in charge of too much information.
On the other hand, has Pym set a record for "most times replaced by a shape shifter"? And who do you think is the prophet in the beginning?
I'm excited. Great site (as always)
"Dude, you're definitely nitpicking."?
And Bendis's blatant attempts to avoid any plotlines concerned with finding Skrulls aren't poor plotting? He might as well have told the readers, "I don't know enough about biology to come up with a method! Leave me alone!"
SRS
to steven r. stahl -
you been watching John Carpenter's "The Thing" lately?
Re: Secret Invasion #1
I was just flipping through the issue at my comic store and so was only getting the gist of what was going on, but for some reason my first thought when I came to the spread of them all coming out of the Skrull ship was, "Holy crap, its all the heroes who fought in the Secret Wars FINALLY coming back from the Beyonder's planet!"
But then I took a closer look and realized some of those characters weren't in Secret Wars.
Oh well, too bad...that would've been an awesome mindfuck twist.
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