All The Best Comics Have Daddy Issues #5

 

It’s an important decision when having a kid, what’s the name going to be? Plenty of people will ask you if you’ve got a name yet, they’re all very interested. Then you release the name and people will instantly want to know where you got it and what it means. It’s a big decision to make, and one people will pore over, so do you opt for a comic name or not?

A Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Geek

Being allowed to choose the title someone will hold for the rest of their life is pretty cool but also not to be taken for granted. You can’t be flippant with your choice, but you have to make it personal. You want the name to be something you like, your wife likes, and you really want to be saying for the next few decades. It’s a big decision but you’ve got a few months to make it.

There are literally more names in the world than you could ever know. You can buy books of baby names, you can choose familial names already set through custom, you can mix up letters and syllable chunks together, or you can draw from inspiration.

Data showed that for 2009 the two most popular names, for boys and girls, were Jacob and Bella. That’s pretty lame, in my estimation, but to each their own. You have to find a name you like somewhere and popular culture is a good way to get exposure to all sorts of cool monikers that will have positive connotations for you.

Though I do worry how many kids throughout history have been named Cousin Larry or Laverne.

When it came time for us to name our child we just spit balled names we liked. They came from books, movies, our heads, anywhere and everywhere. You can’t be too precious, not at the start. You need to make a big list because it’ll soon be broken down as one person or the other always has some sort of problem with a name. I was constantly given good suggestions, but that was the problem, they were good but not great. My constant reply was “That’s a good name, but it’s just not the name of my son.”

I admit, I did look to comics for some inspiration. I offered up Murdock and Yorick as two suggestions, being linked to my two favourite four colour characters. Though, they were sneaky suggestions as I was giving my wife names I knew she wouldn’t like because then the name I did like would look that much better. It’s a sneaky trick to pull but all’s fair in love and baby names.

Naming your child after a comic character can be a slippery choice. Do you really want to constantly explain to people that you’re such a mad fan of Deadpool that you named your kid Wade Wilson Lindsay{or insert your surname here}? It could get pretty tired and you don’t want to get caught up in a craze that won’t age well. It’s like getting a tattoo, this is for life, think it through.

Here, in list form (because lists are awesome), are some comic names you might consider. I won’t say if they are good or bad, that’s for you to decide, but they are here for your consideration.

Ares – He’s the god of war. Your kid is never going to get picked on in the playground if he’s a possible god of war. This name just screams power and muscles and getting ripped apart by the Sentry.

Amadeus Cho – First and middle name combo, always nice to tie it all together. Maybe you like the more erudite comic characters and this sort of name is elite, it’s smart, it’s just asking for your kid to win some sort of academic award. Is it for you?

T’Challa – I guarantee no other kid on your block will have this name. It’s individual, it’s regal, it’s awesome, and it’s hard to pronounce just right. All signs of a good name, right?

Blackagar Boltagon – use them together, use them on their own, or even (hold onto your hats) have a set of twins with these names. You know what, scrap this suggestion, I don’t want anyone stealing it until I know I’ve never had twins. I shotgun this one unless I can’t use it, then I’ll be selling the rights to name your twins Blackagar and Boltagon on eBay.

Dashiell – the main name from Scalped, and I believe also Jason Aaron’s son’s actual; name, is just pure cool. It’s got ties to the true king of hard boiled, Hammett (not Kirk), and it can be shortened to Dash. This one is a true awesome choice (not that the others aren’t) and I’d consider it in a heartbeat.

Dum Dum – Or maybe just name your kid Dugan and make Dum Dum the nickname. It’s up to you. Seriously, I don’t want a hand in this one.

Holden – This name will always mean Carver in my book. Caulfield, who? It was owned in Sleeper and became so much cooler in my estimation.

Marv – Do you want your kid to look like his head is made up of stain glass window pieces and straight razor scars? Then get your Sin City on and name your kid Marv. You’ll be bringing the name back, man.

Magnus – It could be a cool name, right? Maybe if you dye your kid’s hair grey.

These are just a few. And they’re all* awesome.

*Note: Not all of them are, sorry.

My son’s name is Parker.

I know, everyone thinks it’s for a certain radioactive fuelled nerd who became a friendly neighbourhood protector/menace. Let me say right here, it’s not. I like Spidey, don’t get me wrong, he’s a pretty cool character. But naming my son Parker didn’t have anything to do with casting an allusion to Peter Parker.

This choice of name had more to do with this comic character.

I know, he actually started in prose. That’s fine with me, he’s also in movies? Did Richard Stark’s Parker ever release an album? Maybe he’s in music too. But ultimately, he’s just awesome. He’s a very cool character. He’s a great visual. But he’s got a great name.

I don’t expect my son to grow up pulling heists and grizzling his way through decades of pulp. I didn’t name him for some sort of nominal actualisation. I’m not creating a living shrine to Parker, I just really like the name. It looks good, sounds good, and has plenty of positive connections for me. I didn't actually choose the name because of the comic character, in the end the name won out, but for many reasons. All win, really.

I can also go with Parker Robbins, everyone's favourite villain (look it up). Or maybe Jeff Parker has just impressed me with his writing, who knows? I love to write with Parker pens...and when it rains outside, you know what wet whether gear I put on?

No seriously, I just loved the opening sequence to Casino Royale - the one where they run all over the city, what is the name of that sport?

Alright, already, my son is just a living tribute to Ray Parker Jr. Why wouldn't he be?

Conclusion

Choosing a name comes down to many factors being considered. You get 9 months, give or take, because you’ll need every minute of it. We chose Parker, we like it, and I always will. What sort of names have you given to your offspring? Has anyone gone down the path of a comic character name? What comic names would make the best real life names for a kid? All will be revealed, by you, in the comments below.

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