Hype Machine - Jesus Christ: In the Name of the Gun

So far we have used our Hype Machine posts to promote future projects, but this time I am using it to share the good word of a current ongoing webcomic called Jesus Christ: In the Name of the Gun. What is it about? It’s about Jesus Christ as an action hero, traveling back in time to right wrongs and fight evil.

We here at The Weekly Crisis understand that this webcomic is probably not for everyone, and that if the idea of Jesus Christ as an action hero who kills people and curses a lot offends you in some way, you should perhaps not read this feature or this webcomic at all. Everyone else hit the jump to read what it’s all about.

Jesus Christ: In the Name of the Gun is a webcomic created by Eric Peterson and Ethan Nicolle, and as I said in the intro, it’s about Jesus as a hardcore action hero, fighting evil, killing people, cursing like a sailor, and generally attempting to right wrongs. The first episode, called Hollow Cost, is the “origin” story, as it details his first mission, and why he is in that path. The basic gist of it is: Jesus is sick and tired of his father (God, who looks like Marlon Brandon during his Jor-El era) inaction and “hands-off” attitude with Earth that lead to all kinds of atrocities like wars, serial killers, and the holocaust.

For the record, this was written years before the Lost finale.

There is a sincerely deep conversation between the two parties, where Jesus looks at his own failures, and God eventually leaves to do godly things (according to the story, he leaves for hundreds of years at a time). This means that Jesus can now operate without his father interferring. World War II is Jesus first stop: he orders a virgin birth in the Soviet Union during the 1910's, and by the time he grows up, Germany has invaded Poland. Jesus mission is quite simple: he must use all of his powers to kill Adolf Hitler and stop the holocaust. At first he is quite confident in his own skills, and simply storms the castle, in a very impressive scene where he dropkicks a Nazi by... well, you better see it with your own eyes.

The Matrix sequels would have been 100% better if they had scenes like this one.

Jesus continues to kill his way through Nazi guards (and yes, this Jesus kills, he’s hardcore like that) and is about to get rid of Hitler, when someone sporting a high tech suit and rifle beats him to the punch. The Nazis spot Jesus and are attempting to catch him, all while he is trying to catch the person that killed Hitler. It’s a very well choreographed chase scene, and a good showcase of the artists’ skill. Eventually, he catches up with the assassin and turns out to be none other than...

Ernest Hemingway, writer of The Old Man and The Sub-Machine Gun.

As you can tell, this is a story that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and it is not afraid to take wild and/or ridiculous routes. What follows is the two of them getting captured by the Nazis, where they learn who Jesus really is, and try to use his blood (which has regenerative powers, obviously, and a nasty side effect) to further their own crazy science agenda. To make matters worse, rumors of Hitler’s demise were greatly exaggerated, so Hemingway and Jesus must team up once more to escape jail with a intricate plan using two of Jesus’ most recognizable powers. It's a clever plan, and a sincerely funny scene (though there is some sophomoric humor). Once the two of them are free, what follows is a bloody fight scene that would be equally at home in Mel Gibson’s Passion of The Christ as they make their way to (and through) an escalating level of Nazi evils.

That's no way to get ahead in life.

Oh, and did I mention that Hitler is also a werewolf?

You can tell it's Hitler by the mustache.

In the end, our heroes defeat the ultimate evil, but there is no seventh day for the son of God, and with the help of a time machine built by Einstein, he immediately takes of for his next mission: he will stop the Spanish Inquisition (bet you didn’t expect that!). At the end of the first episode, the webcomic took an extended hiatus, and the story was printed in a graphic novel.

Recently, it has returned, back with a brand new artist, and it is updating every Tuesday and Thursday. The art change may be jarring at first, just because it is so different: if former artist Ethan Nicolle was like a more cartoony Brian Bolland or Charlie Adlard, incoming artist Ryan Cody is more along the lines of  a bulkier Cory Walker. It’s not bad by any means (specially by webcomic standards, this looks like a high quality indie comic), but it may give readers whiplash when switching from one style to the other. The writing is still as whimsical as ever, and the new arc seems to pit Jesus Christ against Queen Isabella of Spain, who also happens to be a Lovecraftian monster. It just started, so it’s the right time to read through the archive and jump on board.

Jesus' power level: OVER 9000!

Obviously, this webcomic is not for everyone, the topic is deeply offensive, the humor is sometimes immature, and there’s enough violence to give Frederick Wertham nightmares. That being said, if you have laughed at any of the images I have posted above, then be sure to check out the rest of the webcomic. It’s obviously not high culture, and that’s just fine with me, because not every story needs to be: sometimes you want to read Maus, and sometimes you want to see Jesus Christ fighting Werewolf Hitler.

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